Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Russian Cat Herder

First, it is imperative that you read this blog entry before you read mine. 

I received this from the perspective of the second eldest of five children. My older sister is the self-proclaimed black sheep of the family, so obviously, that unanimously appoints me to eldest in the responsibility rankings. I helped raise three much younger siblings. 

To this day, I continue to be the controlling force behind every family decision. What Christmas tree to pick out. Where to eat dinner. What is on the menu for Thanksgiving. What we should get so-and-so for their birthday. Where we stay and what attractions we visit on vacation. I am the unofficial fearless leader of seven (eight counting my husband) human beings when it comes to matters of the family. I guess you could say that is fitting, seeing as I am quite the control freak. I have that bossy-knack. I have the take charge personality. 

This comes with a burden - a pandora's box of mistakes, misgivings, and overall tiresomeness. It is easy to just try to force everyone else to fit what I want..seeing as that is how it will end up anyway right? wrong. As my family grows, and each member matures, I am being - okay, I'll just say it - forced to recognize that each person is their own person..and that this whole time I was being tricked into thinking they were all mine. 

It isn't about the fact that I will always be the one they look at when deciding where to eat after church. But this is more about where they are in their walk with the Lord, where they go to college, who they want to be when they get older, etc... They are the Lord's. 

He has this agenda and plan that makes my own agendas resemble planaria. But alas, He is worthy to be trusted. He is sovereign. Someone once told me that I have to turn my family over to the Lord. But even still, they aren't mine to turn over. I just need to take a deep breath of faith and live in His grace. That feels much better anyway.

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