Tuesday, January 04, 2011

let the sun set

i can feel it. a pressure. a fear. a sinking pit-like feeling. alone. blue. i'm trying to find a word for it. but it's just simply this. it's untitled. but it's here. something so burdensom. something so heavy. i'm running. i'm still. i'm breathing. i'm crying. i'm quiet. i'm listening. i hear it. i'm ashamed of it. i'm stuck. i'm holding a death grip on it. bondage. it's holding a death grip on me. stained. hostaged. despair. i can't see the words that are here to comfort me past the tears that are welling. i can't hear what you are saying through the muffled air of doubt. but there is a muted moment that i can't hold on to. i'm desperate.

and then something grasps me. it's a melody. it's your glory. your presence. it's your love. it's your freedom, your name. your forgiveness, your justice. your power, your providence. holiness. affirmation. miracles. atonement. fullfilled promise. i hear your presence calling me to lay it down. give it to me, you say. you say words to my heart that my thoughts cannot know. you say: do not be ashamed. i love you. you are forgiven daughter. you are forgiven. you are forgiven. you are forgiven. give me the lies, the secrets, the sins, the dispair. you piece the broken chips of my heart back together. your name alone rescues my soul. images fill my mind of my regrets. you replace it with a picture of a sunset. you set the sun over all my guilt, shame and life in death. You raise me up with your holy name. it's hard to remember this, but you don't seem to mind reminding me as often as it takes. you will wake me up each morning with your word. you will cover my lies with your truth. you will cover my failures with your success. my death with your life. my name with yours. my scars with your image. my dispair with your hope. my stains with your blood. my wrong with your right. my imperfection with your spotless perfection. my depravity with your sovereignity. my loss with your wholeness. my old with your renewal.

i hear you say: daughter, let it go. be reconciled to me and release your past. forget about being tempted for a fate unknown. i'm here to give you my love. i'm here to free you from a cage. like a bird, who was once caged...you are now free.

symphony by chris taylor

I'm in the mood for a breakdown
A slowing down of all the things in my mind
That keep on trying to figure out how to pin you down

In desperate need of a shakedown
A blowing down of all the ways that I try
To talk you into a corner until you look like me

But when I finally see what you see
There's a symphony
I hear a symphony

Words cannot define
What it means to be in your symphony
In your symphony

A long awaited let down
A burning through that's calling me back to you
With a beautiful melody of all you love

It's welling deep inside of me,
It's springing out, the song that I'm meant to sing
So teach me the harmony to all you love

Hearts in unison
I'm drawn into your love
Hearts in unison
I understand your love