tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79496439292627842282024-02-19T04:07:24.849-06:00diamond in the roughbeauty fades. charm is fake. i just want to praise the LORD. (proverbs 31:30)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-67628905227581658282013-09-03T14:41:00.001-05:002013-09-03T14:41:30.540-05:00Russian Cat Herder<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">First, it is imperative that you read <a href="http://www.garymorland.com/four-lessons-from-a-russian-cat-herder-to-help-achieve-your-dreams-for-your-family/">this blog entry</a> before you read mine. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #42474a; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I received this from the perspective of the second eldest of five children. My older sister is the self-proclaimed black sheep of the family, so obviously, that unanimously appoints me to eldest in the responsibility rankings. I helped raise three much younger siblings. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #42474a; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #42474a; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">To this day, I continue to be the controlling force behind every family decision. What Christmas tree to pick out. Where to eat dinner. What is on the menu for Thanksgiving. What we should get so-and-so for their birthday. Where we stay and what attractions we visit on vacation. I am the unofficial fearless leader of seven (eight counting my husband) human beings when it comes to matters of the family. I guess you could say that is fitting, seeing as I am quite the control freak. I have that bossy-knack. I have the take charge personality. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #42474a; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #42474a; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This comes with a burden - a pandora's box of mistakes, misgivings, and overall tiresomeness. It is easy to just try to force everyone else to fit what I want..seeing as that is how it will end up anyway right? wrong. As my family grows, and each member matures, I am being - okay, I'll just say it - forced to recognize that each person is their own person..and that this whole time I was being tricked into thinking they were all mine. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #42474a; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #42474a; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It isn't about the fact that I will always be the one they look at when deciding where to eat after church. But this is more about where they are in their walk with the Lord, where they go to college, who they want to be when they get older, etc... They are the Lord's. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #42474a; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #42474a; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He has this agenda and plan that makes my own agendas resemble planaria. But alas, He is worthy to be trusted. He is sovereign. Someone once told me that I have to turn my family over to the Lord. But even still, they aren't mine to turn over. I just need to take a deep breath of faith and live in His grace. That feels much better anyway.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #42474a; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #42474a; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-47824791075094594762013-08-09T10:38:00.000-05:002013-08-09T10:39:45.851-05:00truth<b>Deception</b>. It is the enemy's plan. Sometime's if we are not so deep in the Word we can be deceived and not even know that we are following lies.<br />
Sometimes we might even be claiming something in Jesus' name over our life and it is strait from the enemy's mouth. Whoa. Hold the phone.<br />
<br />
This is where I'm at. I have been struggling with the topic of deception. I don't like being lied to. I don't like being a sheeple. I don't like just absorbing what someone tells me and letting it be truth. Even if it feels so right. I don't even like hearing from myself and accepting it as truth. I don't like, and I don't recommend naming and claiming what I want and what {I think or demand that} the Lord has in store for me. I don't like assuming prosperity. I don't want to just seek my personal gain or success.<br />
I want to seek His glory. This is not in my nature, though. This is not what our flesh adheres to. This is not what our heart seeks. Our heart is deceptive. It is the most deceptive.<br />
<br />
Jeremiah 17:9 (HCSB) - The heart is more deceitful than anything else..who can understand it?<br />
<br />
Scripture tells us to only follow the guidance of the Lord. God the Father, Jesus His Son, His Spirit alive in us, His Word, the proof in our testimony.<br />
<br />
<i>He is weaving the truth of His word into our lives..every time that we open it. Every time we seek His presence (and His presence alone).</i><br />
<i></i><br />
<br />
<b>But why.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Why would He send so much power to us if there wasn't something very disturbing lurking around the corner to devour our very heart?</b><br />
<br />
I venture to say, the enemy is NOT as concerned with the lost souls that wander this earth. To him, they belong to him. To him, they are not a threat. (off topic: little does he know that it is often when moral and spiritual depravity is on the incline that the Gospel works so ravenously and efficiently, so, um, get ready for that).. The enemy is concerned with those that proclaim the name of Jesus. The one's who wear His name as a banner across their heart. Those are the one's he is constantly chasing. Those are the one's he is constantly accusing. Those are the one's he is actively lying to.<br />
<br />
I challenge myself (and all of us Followers of The One True King) to actively flee the enemy.<br />
I challenge us to actively denounce his accusations and live in transparent and authentic obedience of the changed life Christ has called us to.<br />
I challenge us to actively seek out which "truths" we accept could actually be the enemy's lies.<br />
<br />
Yes, it is happening. Scripture being distorted. That is one scary thought. Now, we are likely to automatically think, "well, how am I to know what is truth and what is deception?"<br />
I challenge us to seek His Word. Seek His Spirit. Wake up each morning asking to see His face. Asking to see His glory. <u>ONLY</u>.<br />
<br />
<i>Let us take of our sandals, for when we do this, we are standing on Holy Ground. </i><br />
<i>He is faithful. He is true. </i><br />
<br />
When we cast away ourselves... When we deny ourselves... When we renounce the comfort of deception and all that it entails, He will come in and shed light on the things we must rid our hearts of.<br />
<br />
He seeks truth to be alive in us. Jesus prayed over His own disciples and all of His believers in<br />
John 17. In verse 17, it's such an amazingly chilling fact to read His prayer over us. That we would be "sanctified by The Father's Truth.." Jesus did not leave it at that. No, The Spotless Lamb who faced persecution and temptation, yet remained sinless, knows that many things will come to us as "truth" when in reality it is false teachings. He made sure to clarify, "Your word is truth"..Amen. His Holy Word is where we find truth.<br />
<br />
As I am personally struggling with a certain area of deception among friends and family members (and quite frankly, the rest of population), I am trying to break the chains of the lies that have been spewed at me.<br />
<br />
<b>But <i>I</i> can't. </b><br />
<br />
I can't break the bondage of this deception.<br />
<br />
<b>Blessedly, <i>He</i> can.</b> His Word can.<br />
<br />
Let us boldly approach the Throne and make our hearts worries and cares known to Him. He cares for us. He doesn't just want to hear our woes. He doesn't just want to sit with us while we whine. He wants to CHANGE us. He wants us to be transformed. He wants us to live in the Spirit of Truth.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Pay attention to Me, My people,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and listen to Me, My nation;</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
for instruction will come from Me,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and My justice for a light to the nations.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will bring it about quickly. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My righteousness is near,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My salvation appears, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and My arms will bring about justice</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
to the nations.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The coastlands will put their hope in Me, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and they will look to My strength.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Look up to the heavens, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and look at the earth beneath;</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
for the heavens will vanish like smoke, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the earth with wear out like a garment, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and it's inhabitants will die like gnats.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But My salvation will last forever,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and My righteousness will never be shattered."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Isaiah 51:4-6</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-23900645236923785682012-08-12T18:06:00.001-05:002012-08-12T18:07:59.077-05:00LegacyThinking about my sweet Father-in-law today, he's having his first heavenly birthday. Even though he won't be having any more earthly ones, I'm thinking of the earthly legacy he left. <br />
<br />
I see Van everyday in the sweet loved ones with whom I get to spend my life..Charlene, my sweet mom-in-law, Sarah, my uniquely lovely sister, and my fulfillingly loving husband, Josh. <br />
<br />
If I could think of one way that Van has left his mark on us it would simply be, perseverance. <br />
<br />
We have learned from him: that even when it hurts so bad, you keep going. Those closest to him understand this with more certainty than anything. <br />
<br />
I'm thankful for a husband that through Van, the Lord gave me. I have this man that carries the same proverbial posture of diligence. I am proud of Van, I'm proud of my husband..and maybe one day I'll have a son that echoes the same strong, sturdy elements of manhood that his legacy bears. <br />
<br />
For now, we will hold one another up as we grieve, as we fervently miss the physical presence of our dear father, husband, friend, brother, loved Van. We will thrive, though, on the impact-full and lasting legacy that he leaves. We will lean on the loving arms of Jesus knowing that is where Van now finds his eternal home. <br />
<br />
And as I reminded my husband (as he is so beautifully just like his dad in his strong emotions and tender heart) this morning as I knew he was hurting at the thought of this momentary separation from his dad: <br />
<br />
"Life can be pretty sad sometimes. I know sometimes it feels like you get served an extra dose of sad, but I just love you and, somehow, I know down deep that this is all that matters..<br />
I know that it's what makes us stronger and closer."<br />
<br />
I don't know if my sweet husband even realizes this, but he, through the mercy and guidance of Jesus, is building such a strong legacy that grows off of the very bloodline of men such as Byron Picket Boggan (grandfather), and his dad, Van Alan Boggan. He has every reason in the world to hold his head up and know he walks in the favor of God and men, and humbly, me - his wildly adoring wife and life long soulmate. <br />
<br />
I'm so proud to be a part of this story, I'm so blessed to have known Van. I'm so humbled to be a part of this family. <br />
<br />
I take away the understanding of what it means to bear witness to your children, family, friends, total strangers. Leave a legacy that echoes the wonderful things that God has done. Leave behind remnants of The Lord's goodness. What else, I ask, even matters?<br />
<br />
"My people, hear my instruction; listen to what I say. I will declare wise sayings; I will speak mysteries from the past - things we have heard and known and that our fathers have passed down to us. We must not hide them from their children, but must tell a future generation the praises of the Lord, His might, and the wonderful works He has performed."<br />
(Psalm 78:1-4)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-46128076651902502172012-08-04T00:06:00.002-05:002012-08-04T00:25:11.149-05:00This ain't your momma's theology lecture<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have entitled this entry with a sense of humor, but please beware that this blog encompasses a very serious issue. The title was meant to, actually, be more of a warning. I don't claim to be some theologian saint, nor do I claim to have an abundance of answers (just an abundance of Grace). Sweetheart, this is merely me, sitting here with the next guy, discerning the will of God in my life today. Lord, have mercy on me!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I want to place my words very carefully, so please be patient with me. At the very heartbeat of this entry is the gentle chastising of my own foibles lately, as received from my Heavenly Father lately. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I read something and feel one way, I watch a news clip and feel another. {</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sometimes I have even felt lukewarm simply because I can't decide my stance on an "iffy" issue (don't misunderstand that please) I merely mean to say that some believers take one stance, and others take another and I find it hard to place my allegiance with one or the other}</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Yet, interestingly as both of these emotions have been fighting for my heart,</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><u style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I pray and I see much clearer.</u><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> I fight to bring clarity to the bondage of emotional, mental, and spiritual calamity that is this world I am living in. "Stop the madness" my heart says..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tolerance, intolerance, right, wrong, fair, equal rights, choice, love, hate, opinion, born that way, abomination, evil, neutral, bigotry, chick-fil-a, conscience rights...words, </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">words</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">, </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;">words</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">. World, </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">world</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">, </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;">world</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> (interesting isn't it?) </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So join me, if you like, to clarify where it is I need to be to line up under the word and authority of the Lord God Almighty. That's where I want to be. I have no hope of leading another to His Grace if I myself am not at the very center of it. And after all, that is what we are called to do...become fishers of men. (Matthew 4:19)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"<span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;">Dress down your pretty faith, give me something real</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; text-align: left;">Leave out the Thee and Thou and speak to me now</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; text-align: left;">Speak to my pain and confusion</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Speak through my fears and my pride" </span></div><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sara Groves - Awakening </span></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm so thankful for <b>Greater Grace</b> (James 4:6) , aren't you? ...by the way, more on James 4 later. I'm so glad that all it takes is for us to get out of the way and let Him in for things to be made whole again. But alas, if it were just that simple we wouldn't have needed a spotless Lamb. We've been given a multi-faceted companion in His very legacy of defeat over the grave. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Daily I find myself flying off the handle, judging, lying, coveting, </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">gossiping</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">, </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">floundering</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> in a pit of lost...but the single greatest thing has </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">happened</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">. I have been rescued. I have been given greater grace simply by the wholesome salvation that I have in Christ Jesus. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Back on track,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">To truly love someone as Jesus did - you must truly be concerned about the condition of their heart, their soul, their life. Love them, but disciple them. Society (all of it) only wants you to believe that this must be polarized. I say, enough.<span style="font-size: large;"> Love and Absolute Truth does, in fact, go hand in hand - because God created both concepts.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We are called to completely deny ourselves and this ole world...every day. Jesus says, "For what does it benefit a man to gain the whole world yet lose his life? What can a man give in exchange for his life? For whoever is ashamed of Me and of My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels." (Mark 8:36-38)...<b>Bone chilling isn't it?</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">James 4: "Adulteresses! Don't you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? So whoever wants to be the world's friend becomes God's enemy. Or do you think it's without reason the Scripture says that the Spirit who lives in us yearns jealously? But He gives greater grace. Therefore He says: God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore, submit to God. But resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, double-minded people!" (vs 4-8)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What is the purpose of this?? Christ can love us <u>entirely</u> while being made physically ill over the sin that we welcome through our blatant rejection of purity, truth, and fulfilling love only found in Him. </span><b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I am going to vomit you out of My mouth." - Jesus (Revelation 3:18)</b><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Neutrality is the single most effective tool the enemy has over you.</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Medieval poet, Dante Alleghieri (1265-15321), is supposed to have said that ‘the hottest places of hell are reserved for those who in times of great moral crises maintain their neutrality.' (by the way, JFK was said to have quoted this)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What moral issue are we as the church remaining "neutral" about? Human trafficking, abortion, addictions? Sexual perversion: pornography, premarital sex, homosexuality? What will you do to stand up? Note, stand up does not mean HATE. But, standing up for God's Word and standing up for the purity of other's (whether they are lost in sin or saved in it) hearts, to truly love, to lay down our pious, righteous banners, tweets, and movements all to stand up with convicting selfless faith in Him. We are sorely out of turn if we point the finger...we are a merely here to represent Christ's open arms. We are called to live under the truth that by His stripes we are healed (from sin, disease, infestation of death...)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh, but, too often, we back Jesus Christ into this corner of being this soft, cuddly, pushover. He spent His time on earth doing many things (reaching out to sinners, like you and me, as well as portraying the manifest deity of God in and through His own hands via miracles)...but let's not overlook one GRAND SCHEME of His walk on earth. To be God on earth. FULLY GOD (as only God could rectify the "situation".... To expound, we often label Jesus the Son as the peace-loving hippie brother, and God the Father as the Righteous Father, and further the Spirit as the middle sibling that just wants to keep the peace in the household. Oh my. May we truly see them as a real tri-unified embodiment of Creator - Judge - Covenant Maker - Salvation Bringer - Soul lover - Messenger - Healer - Sovereign Lord over all. There is no separation where one ends and the other begins. Jesus will be the ultimate Judge according to the will of the Father - stay with me - See John 5 (vs 16-30).</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is why Jesus was the Worthy Lamb to come inhabit earth with the very sinners He would soon die to save. <b>He is the very atonement of our sins</b>. He is the very redeemer of our lies, murders, curses, condemnations...<b><u>He pays for us to be His own because He knows what His judgment will mean.</u></b> He knows, trust me, He new it all along - especially when He, who knew no sin, became sin - just so we could be His righteousness. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Keep up...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Jesus didn't just spend time with sinners just to show that He loved them. He spent time with them to heal them, to deliver them, and to tell them to follow Him. He came into their lives so they would never be the same. But just like the rich young ruler, people rejected His truth. Just like the Pharisees, and Satan himself, people used political correctness to find him in fault. Be careful where we allow our allegiance to lie. We are called to love God (first) and to love people (which will come from the overflow), and to make disciples. We must be careful we are not living with earthly eyes. We cannot judge the world for their "lostness," but we cannot allow the Word of God to be perverted. When we allow the world to mock God's Word and we do not hold fast to His Scriptures we defile the very covenant we claim to be a part of.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So why is all of this even important? Well, for starters...let's look at Isaiah 48..where the Lord has to explain to the Israelite just why they are in the predicament they are in..</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am Yahweh your God,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">who teaches you for your benefit,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">who leads you in the way you should go.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>If only you had paid attention to My commands.</b></i> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Then your peace would have been like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Your descendants would have been as countless as the sand, and the offspring of your body like its grains: their name would not be cut off or eliminated from My presence. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(Isaiah 40:17-19 HCSB - my exaggeration) </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">--</span></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I know that everyone has their own passions on drives, but I also know that many people remain neutral on one of the most crucial topics that faces our world today. This is what I call, <i>a passion for neutrality</i>. We duck our heads and head for cover when the issues get too hard to sort out. <b>Or when they get too hard to stand up for what we know is right.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Jesus blood never fails to stand up for what is right. If we are covered in His lavished Grace than we will truly be able to conceptualize loving others all the way to the cross where we find that His sacrifice calls us to repentance (to turn away from or sin. to deny ourselves. to take up our cross and to follow Him.)</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Only Jesus can make beauty out of our ashes. But we have to give him our ashes in order for him to transform them. <span style="font-size: large;">The world doesn't know that...this is why are called to preach Him to the ends of the earth. In spirit and in truth with the over abundance of love that He has implanted inside our very beating heart. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"For when the Pharisees saw Jesus dining with the sinners and tax collectors, they asked "Why?!" When Jesus heard this He simply said," Those who are well don't need a doctor, but the sick do." Matthew 9:16-17</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-69882961004073999942012-06-25T00:11:00.001-05:002012-06-25T00:31:16.868-05:00Guard her heart.Chances are, if you have a teenage girl in your life that has Internet access..especially via smartphone..her self-confidence is being drained by the hour and their view of reality is being distorted by the minute. they post picture after picture of themselves and guage their self worth by who "likes" it or who called them lovely. They decide they are worthless if some stranger (that they allow access into their lives) leaves a simple comment , such as "ugly." What is this society we are totally unaware that is even developing deep in the privacy of a teenage bedroom, inside the screen of a parent-paid, all-access to all things lethally narcissistic? Too much privacy, not enough personal responsibility. Too much self-intoxicating social media, not enough deep-meaning familial relationships with mom/dad/etc. <br />
<br />
Christ looks with adoring love on us all. He desires to mend the fragile hearts of each one of these beautiful young ladies. Will you stand up for the young women in your life and share with them the Love, Redeeming Love? Love that can only be found in The One and Only, who not only deserves her heart but beckons her to abandon all the feeble attempts at self-satisfaction to the point of receiving everlasting LOVE. Mercy, Grace. Hope, Truth. Fulfillment. Joy. <br />
Dressed in Purity. Eternally valued - above all else. <br />
<br />
We must teach our daughters, sisters, nieces, granddaughters, friends, students - all the little ladies in our lives to GUARD their hearts. <br />
<br />
Share with her His Love. It is there, and only there, she will find contentment and peace that her soul so desires. <br />
<br />
It is there, her fragile heart will be safely guarded by The One who causes it to beat. <br />
<br />
"guard your heart above all else, for from it life flows" proverbs 4:23<br />
<br />
<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnxpAeIRMZSL2Mt9ZWZ17W04n2MKKFs1jRXGdM7HQRQDb2Au2-ZM-zF41ZpbYcr5ibbS59dGtyEDekPB6TNi4q-ZDl3K5izAeuZF_PMbHrdWU9scGp8o9Ebg2R5NKs5GW0m5FG7ldB8zg/s640/blogger-image--1534101502.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnxpAeIRMZSL2Mt9ZWZ17W04n2MKKFs1jRXGdM7HQRQDb2Au2-ZM-zF41ZpbYcr5ibbS59dGtyEDekPB6TNi4q-ZDl3K5izAeuZF_PMbHrdWU9scGp8o9Ebg2R5NKs5GW0m5FG7ldB8zg/s640/blogger-image--1534101502.jpg" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-27129779412039324942011-12-07T00:20:00.001-06:002011-12-07T00:57:53.521-06:00Lord, why did you make me so sensitive? And other prayers from today.I guess I will start with this: why did you make me so sensitive? I really don't understand why I am so easily hurt. I guess I could ask why people hurt me so easily, but come on...it can't be everyone else's fault. After a few misunderstandings and awkward run-ins with various people I have to come to the conclusion that I am the sensitive one. I have to realize that it is me that blows things out of proportion in my own mind. But in the same token, could it be just so - could it be that there are that many insensitive people in the world? Furthermore, could it people that I am one of them?
King Solomon was right on the money when he proclaimed the vanity of life and everything that goes with it. Vanity of vanity, everything is vanity. Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless. I mean, is there no importance anymore? Does anyone really care? At the risk of sounding like some bleeding heart, does anyone really lay their head down at night and wonder to themselves, "you know self, maybe you were a little rude to that person...they could be hurt because of your own actions or inactions. Maybe you should do something about that...and soon, because, you know self, it is just the considerate thing to do." No, of course people don't do that. Because if they did, I can think of several occasions when someone would call me first thing in the morning and say, "hey sorry about acting like that the other day...I guess I just left my self-control at the door and decided to treat you like dirt" - I know I would have a few calls to make every morning or so. See, the world would start dramatically shifting if people had this mentality. We know that we would hurt people...that is human sinful nature...but if only, oh if only, we had some sort of reflex muscle that reflexed after we misspoke, or treated someone in a cross or out-of-turn manner. I can't help but see many of these petty misunderstandings would get rsolved, and over time, even eliminated.
But I digress. It is, in fact, all meaningless if we can't muster up the so very uncommon courtesy to treat people how we would like to be treated. What are we even here for if we can not show even the simplest form of love. After we ourselves have been shown the greatest love of all...and we so take it for granted every moment of every day.
Sensitivity is an instinctual trait for women, no doubt...but I think I have gotten a double dose. Some would laugh with this regard, but I feel like the more I spend around a specific person - the more I am at risk of being hurt by them. I would love to just go through one relationship and not be let down, but alas..you are this very relationship. How can I forget day in and day out that you are the token of integrity. You are the very label of delight. You hold me in in your hands and never let me go..and I always need you to be this. I will always need it. And so it dawns, you have created me to be this sensitive creature - if nothing else but for this very moment, that I might come to realize and acknowledge your very self and you would come sweeping in to save the day and win my heart. How clever of you?! I simply adore this about you.
Oh and by the way, it's very kind of you to listen to me ramble. You are the best listener in history. I know you have plenty to say to me, but just the fact that you humor me long enough to mull over what has been bugging me is truly and act of divine proportions. Maybe one day I will realize that all the listening I need in my life is for me to listen to you. Regardless, thanks for your tender ears and your tender embrace soothing me when I have trampled feelings. You make me realize that even when things feel out of control I can have this sense of self and sense of control - total control when I bring it to you. Just earlier today I wrote that, "sometimes I feel like I don't really truly have one single friend that I can be totally and completely myself with"...this is true, I don't. But it is nice to know that I have overlooked you. There you are, just the same. Ready and willing to embrace what and who I am, ramblings and all. Thanks for that. Help me to not overlook all that I have in you. Help me to regard my feelings only for you. Help me to not offer up my heart on a platter for others to pick through as if a buffet line. Help my to preserve my tender breakable heart for you, as you are the only one that will never break my fragile heart.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-64790113217429844882011-08-09T22:46:00.001-05:002011-08-09T22:47:30.328-05:00be treasured here.I have loved the Lord for a long time. I was a young girl when I accepted His Lordship. Even through the many times of life that I have faltered He has been faithful to forgive and love me so sweetly. Even through the many times of life when I have done the work of my own heart, I have always felt Him moving in that very place - working to transform this beating heart - from a mechanical self indulgent mere organ to a heart after Him. Jesus has my heart and will always. So I will seek Him with my life. He has been so active in my life lately. I almost wondered where He had been all my life - then I shuddered at the realization that it was I who had been missing in action..He has been a constant Guardian of my heart, while I, foolishly, played it to the beat.<br />
There has been a strong movement of His faithfulness in my life. I'm humbled, I'm awestruck, I am in adoration. With all that has transpired all I can do is designate my life to be a forever song of praise. It is my life theme to make Him treasured here, in my heart.<br />
The best part? His faithfulness and His love and mercy has been shown in ways that I could have never imagined, never prepared of my own accord. <br />
<br />
beautiful Jesus, how may i bless Your heart? knees to the earth i bow down to everything You are.<br />
be blessed, be loved, be lifte high. be treasured here - be glorified. i owe my life to You my Lord, here i am. here i am. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-3508861089346862152011-06-14T15:21:00.000-05:002011-06-14T20:40:05.248-05:00oh, to be found in the garden<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="color: purple;">"I come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses...</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="color: purple;">And the voice I hear falling on my ear<br />
The Son of God discloses.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="color: purple;">And He walks with me, and He talks with me,<br />
And He tells me I am His own;<br />
And the joy we share as we tarry there,<br />
None other has ever known.<br />
He speaks, and the sound of His voice,<br />
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,<br />
And the melody that He gave to me<br />
Within my heart is ringing."</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: purple;">My dad sang this song at my Grannie's funeral back in January after a brief battle with cancer. I remember, she passed in the wee hours of that Friday morning. Saturday was pretty much a blur. We held a memorial service for her that Sunday evening. Earlier that day before the memorial service my dad asked me to help him by typing out his speech that he would deliver at the service. I know he probably only asked me because he knew I could type quickly, but I took it very personally. I felt so humbled that he asked me to do it. Even though it was to be read out loud and be made public later that night - because it hadn't yet been delivered, in a way, it was still in the rough draft stages. It was still personal to him. I was amazed at his delivery of the gospel. He shared the Love of the Lord the way that Grannie had lived it.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: purple;">Meanwhile, the peace with which he gave this plan of salvation (no easy task considering he had just laid his mother to rest) was simply sweet. He sang a sweet hymn that she had asked him to sing - the same one he sang as a boy at his own grandmother's funeral. I remember the way he sang that song with such sweet surrender to the Holy Spirit. He sang with such a heart of praise. Just the manner that he composed himself taught me so much about life. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: purple;">The words of the song just echoed over and over again,</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: purple;">"...and He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own..."</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: purple;">I just felt such a peace of mind knowing that Grannie at that moment was forever bound to her Savior. She was hearing face to face that she is His forever Love. She had met Him in the garden to walk hand in hand. Oh what peace!</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: purple;">Death affects us all a little different. There in itself lies the most unnatural thing that has ever occurred to us as humans - the great separation - it is truly what it feels like. It is a mock example of what separation from the Lord is - true spiritual death. Only the gift of the Lord's salvation can make this proverbial heart whole. And so it is with physical death. Only having the free gift of salvation by grace through faith can place us in the security of knowing we will see that loved one again. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: purple;">No body wants to talk about this so much when that passed on loved one maybe didn't have a relationship with the Lord. This is the dilemma. If they were indeed loved one's - are we loving them truly by letting them go without sharing the love of the Lord? May we never let an opportunity go by that we don't share God's gift of salvation - whether it be to a loved one or a total stranger. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: purple;">So, as you may be reading this, please know that you too, can meet Him in the garden one day. You don't ever have to experience this great separation. Likewise, if you have already surrendered yourself to The Redeemer, you are now called to be a minister of reconciliation. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: purple;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: purple;">For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. And the wages for sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Amazingly, God showed His love for us in this: while we were sinners, Christ died for us. And whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life. (Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23, Romans 5:8, John 3:16)</span></div><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia;"></span><br />
<div align="center"><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br />
</span></div><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><span style="color: purple;"></span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-40547443151193408002011-01-04T16:07:00.000-06:002011-06-14T20:41:50.361-05:00let the sun set<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhDtJfbmsOfEDiXVAdUFLyagxtjyx4Wx9uPcGm2ub30ljDGMyb8gDaiOD_IIxc2W3OXiitOztKzvxazKBIvlYrzwyNurakxh_5Evxnb4j-S-o8QFoGOak31YpJm1ewOiYcHzqK0wTYqt0/s1600/HPIM1009.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518763911524602818" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhDtJfbmsOfEDiXVAdUFLyagxtjyx4Wx9uPcGm2ub30ljDGMyb8gDaiOD_IIxc2W3OXiitOztKzvxazKBIvlYrzwyNurakxh_5Evxnb4j-S-o8QFoGOak31YpJm1ewOiYcHzqK0wTYqt0/s320/HPIM1009.JPG" style="cursor: hand; float: left; height: 238px; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 320px;" /></a> <br />
i can feel it. a pressure. a fear. a sinking pit-like feeling. alone. blue. i'm trying to find a word for it. but it's just simply this. it's untitled. but it's here. something so burdensom. something so heavy. i'm running. i'm still. i'm breathing. i'm crying. i'm quiet. i'm listening. i hear it. i'm ashamed of it. i'm stuck. i'm holding a death grip on it. bondage. it's holding a death grip on me. stained. hostaged. despair. i can't see the words that are here to comfort me past the tears that are welling. i can't hear what you are saying through the muffled air of doubt. but there is a muted moment that i can't hold on to. i'm desperate. <br />
<br />
and then something grasps me. it's a melody. it's your glory. your presence. it's your love. it's your freedom, your name. your forgiveness, your justice. your power, your providence. holiness. affirmation. miracles. atonement. fullfilled promise. i hear your presence calling me to lay it down. give it to me, you say. you say words to my heart that my thoughts cannot know. you say: do not be ashamed. i love you. you are forgiven daughter. you are forgiven. you are forgiven. you are forgiven. give me the lies, the secrets, the sins, the dispair. you piece the broken chips of my heart back together. your name alone rescues my soul. images fill my mind of my regrets. you replace it with a picture of a sunset. you set the sun over all my guilt, shame and life in death. You raise me up with your holy name. it's hard to remember this, but you don't seem to mind reminding me as often as it takes. you will wake me up each morning with your word. you will cover my lies with your truth. you will cover my failures with your success. my death with your life. my name with yours. my scars with your image. my dispair with your hope. my stains with your blood. my wrong with your right. my imperfection with your spotless perfection. my depravity with your sovereignity. my loss with your wholeness. my old with your renewal. <br />
<br />
i hear you say: daughter, let it go. be reconciled to me and release your past. forget about being tempted for a fate unknown. i'm here to give you my love. i'm here to free you from a cage. like a bird, who was once caged...you are now free. <br />
<br />
<u>symphony by chris taylor</u><br />
<br />
I'm in the mood for a breakdown<br />
A slowing down of all the things in my mind<br />
That keep on trying to figure out how to pin you down<br />
<br />
In desperate need of a shakedown<br />
A blowing down of all the ways that I try<br />
To talk you into a corner until you look like me<br />
<br />
But when I finally see what you see<br />
There's a symphony<br />
I hear a symphony<br />
<br />
Words cannot define<br />
What it means to be in your symphony<br />
In your symphony<br />
<br />
A long awaited let down<br />
A burning through that's calling me back to you<br />
With a beautiful melody of all you love<br />
<br />
It's welling deep inside of me,<br />
It's springing out, the song that I'm meant to sing<br />
So teach me the harmony to all you love<br />
<br />
Hearts in unison<br />
I'm drawn into your love<br />
Hearts in unison<br />
I understand your loveAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-77425507324780968252010-08-27T20:47:00.000-05:002011-06-14T20:38:26.214-05:00on my mind in this moment of worshipi am mourning over the cross. a kind that leaves me exhausted with love and remorse and gratitude. i am overcomed with a sense that all i can do is adore You for this gift you have given me. You are such a brave LORD to do this for me. but you don't need me to tell You that. You are the LORD that saved me. You rescued me, You climbed up on that cross and stood in the line of fire. You literally took on the form of us, little small humankind. You did it for us, for the glory of God - for us to see His glory. You didn't just tell us that you loved us and that you would stand in between us and God's rightful judgment over sin, no, you became the bridge that seperated. You courageously became sin as you died. Your death covered sin and your resurrection conquered sin and your life sustains us in the freedom of Life. <br /><br />let us fix our eyes upon You, Savior, the Author and Perfector of faith.<br />there is none like You. i adore You, You ransomed me forever. <br /><br />we live in a world where freedom isn't free. a culture where we must earn our right for justice. they say we are born into a status of regular and we must attain the right to persist and succeed. BUT You O LORD deny this world the right to hold over our heads the unending consequence of death. You O LORD raise our head and tell us that we are Yours and we are free. <br /><br />You are a Wonderful Savior and my heart is sealed with Your name. You are my heart's desire and treasure for the rest of time. it feels good to know You and be known by You. thank You for choosing not to remember my past and forgiving who i can't be. thank You for the joy and the victory being the proof of my hand in Yours as You lead me through this dry and weary land. there will come a day when my hand being in Your hand will be the proof of Your unending love for me. may my life always bring you joy and praise. <br /><br />knees to the earth - by watermark<br /><br />Wonderful Savior<br />My heart belongs to Thee<br />I will remember always<br />The blood You shed for me<br />Wonderful Savior<br />My heart will know Your worth<br />So I will embrace You always<br />As I walk this earth<br /><br />Be blessed, be loved, be lifted high<br />Be treasured here, be glorified<br />I owe my life to You oh Lord<br />Here I am<br /><br />Beautiful Jesus<br />How may I bless Your heart?<br />Knees to the earth<br />I bow down to everything You are<br />Beautiful Jesus<br />You are my only worth<br />So I will embrace You always<br />As I walk this earthAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-1903383276039863812010-06-23T18:41:00.000-05:002011-06-14T20:41:50.362-05:00diamond in the roughRecently I changed the title of my blog. I knew my previous title was not quite as fitting, but each time I tried to decide on a new one - I went blank. Until it just sort of came to me. <br /><br />I have 2 specific bible verses that are particularly important to me. Ephesians 5:8 is more or less my "life verse." I guess you could say that it just sort of speaks to me every time I read it. It points a heavenly finger in my direction and beckons me to redirect my focus. "You were once children of the darkness. Now, you are children of the Light. So live as children of the light." <br /><br />But really and truly, being a lady after God's own heart (sometimes a stumbling one at that), the Proverbs 31 woman has always been an important theme in my life. It took me a while to realize 2 things. This virtuous woman was recorded as an idea of a son's mother. This would make her the "mother-in-law." Secondly, hand in hand an equally important notion, this woman is not real. I repeat, this actual woman never has and (in her entirety) never will. This is a woman who God wanted us to envision as ourselves. Displayed with all His might. An example to what we can model our very life after. Thus, being from God, an impossible feat until we are perfected in His Glory. Unfortunately this can leave us feeling overwhelmed with the relentless responsibility of being "perfect." That is exactly what the bondage of this world wants us to feel. Flawed, incompetent, lazy, unworthy, unloved, unfit...the list goes dreadfully on and on. BUT GOD! The LORD our father wants us to know that we are his treasure. We were lost and condemned - we were all these awful things listed before, but God came and cleaned us and gave a purpose...and ALL FOR HIS GLORY! All of this that we can aspire to be, all of these mighty attributes of Proverbs 31 are all worthy to be sought after for His name's sake. Wow. Not for us, not for our husbands, or children, friends, neighbors, girlfriends, coworkers...no one but for the LORD Almighty. <br /><br />Now, more specific than any verse in Proverbs 31, I especially love and have themed my blog after Proverbs 31:30. "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." WOW, this statement alone refutes every single lie that we as women tend to believe. <br /><br />Charm is deceptive: oh how draining is it to constantly try to be charming. An outdated notion to some, but regardless a revolving cycle that most women are aching for. When we go out of our way to please and entertain and impress those around us we can be left with an unfulfilled depleted heart and mind. We will always come up short. This is why charm is deceptive...it is at the peak of our failed attempt to satisfy our own unattainable standards - we have done nothing but fooled ourselves. We are great pretenders, us women. This is a stronghold we must break out of. Only when we abide in Him and He in us can we be competent to behold any task at hand worth eternal value (John 15)<br /><br />Beauty is fleeting. It does not make one tiny spec of eternal difference if we have what the world qualifies as pretty. You wouldn't know this based on how much of the church responds to physical beauty. Any kind of visual attributes: the way we dress, decorate our sanctuaries, buy our cars etc. WE are a visually stimulated people. How I beg for God to take away from my eyes the delight in worldly beauty and replace it with a heavenly one that sees the world Jesus does. Why do you think there are so many books in the Christian bookstores about laying down our self-conscious nature. I can think of several current songs that play on the local christian radio station about finding inner beauty in the fact that God has created us to be exactly what he meant for us to be. Why do you think that the Christian entertainment world is pushing this theme? Could it be because that we are in desperate need of scriptural truth pointing us in the direction of who we are in the sight of the LORD - a renewed creature who is covered by the precious blood of Jesus. We have been washed and cleaned from the inside out. WE are beautiful in God's eyes. What a savior! But the world is CONSTANTLY pushing into this lie telling us that we don't measure up. That we must do whatever it takes to drink from the proverbial cup of everlasting youth. Cut and trim that, implant this, color that, lose this, add this, wear that, eat this, don't eat that...blah blah blah. Who decides what is right and true for us? Tell me, Who commands your destiny? Say, Who is preparing a home for us? Who is it that has a plan for us? Who is it that even the rocks will cry out to? Who is the Famous One? When will we come to the conclusion that there is One who has the throne in our life to lead us, guide us and direct us. No other is LORD of our life. Not even us, by our own standard. Let us shut out the notions that this world sets for us to follow. Woe is me when I fall victim to the malice that this world presents to me in the form of so-called beauty. It isn't beauty, what they say...it is bondage. And we are to live free from it every day.<br /><br />The woman who fears the LORD is to be praised: well, when we put aside all that the world tries to cloud our judgment with - we start to see the big picture. To fear the LORD in all we do and to step out of the way and allow Him to be Ruler of our hearts, we will see a dramatic shift in the condition of our hearts. We have a joy and a hope that we never knew possible. We have a grace here. We have an amazing grace story that can change the world we live in. WE can show the beauty of Jesus, rather than the neverlast petty self-righteous standards of this world. <br /><br />Oh the beauty in stepping aside from all attempts for charm and so called beauty. Let's just praise HIM and we will see true delight realized in our very life...<br /><br />From The Inside Out - Hillsong United<br />A thousand times I've failed<br />Still your mercy remains<br />And should I stumble again<br />Still I'm caught in your grace<br /><br />Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades<br />Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame<br /><br />My heart and my soul, I give You control<br />Consume me from the inside out Lord<br />Let justice and praise, become my embrace<br />To love You from the inside out<br /><br />Your will above all else, my purpose remains<br />The art of losing myself in bringing you praise<br /><br />Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades<br />Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame<br /><br />My heart, my soul, Lord I give you control<br />Consume me from the inside out Lord<br />Let justice and praise become my embrace<br />To love You from the inside out<br /><br />Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades<br />Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame<br />And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise<br />From the inside out, O my soul cries out<br /><br />My Soul cries out to You<br />My Soul cries out to You<br />to You, to You<br /><br />My heart, my soul, Lord I give you control<br />Consume me from the inside out Lord<br />Let justice and praise become my embrace<br />To love You from the inside out<br /><br />Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades<br />Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame<br />And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise<br />From the inside out, O my soul cries out<br /><br />Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades<br />Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame<br />And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise<br />From the inside out, O my soul cries out<br />From the inside out, O my soul cries out<br />From the inside out, O my soul cries out.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-87285828470236476382010-06-15T13:11:00.000-05:002011-06-14T20:40:19.299-05:00testimonyso last night i was very blessed to listen to one of my very dear friends give her testimony. <br /><br />let me tell you a little about this friendship. we went to highschool together. the guys we dated, and ended up marrying have been best friends since they were little children. BUT we never even had the smallest conversation until the day she got a job at snider's pharmacy with me! we immediately became very close friends, enjoying every opportunity to trade long stories and ideas along with our own personal accounts of what the LORD was doing in our life. we realized that we had such similar personalities - it seemed crazy that we had never really known each other. <br /><br />we quickly deemed ourselves as the "work wives."<br /><br />then suddenly she decided that the time had come for her to leave this job that had wonderfully brought us together. she was leaving me. sadness. <br /><br />we have done a pretty great jobs of maintaining our WWFL mantra (work wives for life!) we text and call and facebook as often as we can. i really knew in my heart that even though i would not have her on the daily basis that i had become accustomed to - we would always be great friends. God doesn't put people like that in your life when you need it the most for no reason. <br /><br />back to the blogic (blog topic)...<br /><br />she is involved in a wonderful summer college ministry at one of the local churches. she has been working with other local friends/believers/Christ activists on really getting this area on the move for spreading God's Grace and Mercy to EVERYONE. this girl's heart is on fire. and i love it!<br /><br />she texted me last night to share her anxiety about her upcoming testimony she was to give to her group. i had faith that God would embellish her mouth with wise words of His Power and Love and ability to be our MIGHTY GOD. <br /><br />i wouldn't have missed this for the world. she is more important to me than she might have realized and i wanted to share this moment with her and the other folks there. <br /><br />half-way through her spiel tear started streaming and she lost her composure. (this is an awesome way of showing how overwhelming God's LOVE makes us feel). the next words out of her mouth were, "this year i left my job..." then her eyes diverted to me and i suddenly new where this was headed. she then proceeded to almost intimately thank me for being such an instrument in her life. encouraging and pushing her to own her own faith. i was moved beyond words. <br /><br />when had this supposed relationship evolved. i knew our friendship was based on Christ - something that i am most grateful for. but i never realized just how impactful my life had been on hers. <br /><br />all i can say is - wow. what a wonderful thing for Jesus Christ to be exalted through a couple of simple girls relationship. i'm so thankful. i'm thankful for the lesson of a testimony. they're powerful and necessary. wonder if your life makes such an impact on another's life testimony. is there anything you would do differently. to HIM be the Glory and Honor.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-47915175622801397212010-06-08T16:10:00.000-05:002011-06-14T20:41:15.027-05:00Growing Up Some Morei have come to the realization lately that i am too dependant on my husband. i count on him to fix something in the house if it breaks, lift heavy items for me, fix my car, open tight lids on jars, remove hot and heavy items from the oven, allow me to be the passenger in the car, buy me things, make money to pay bills, pump my gas, take me out to eat, be my date when i want to see a movie, listen to me complain, tell me funny jokes to make me smile, watch tv with and just be my best friend and partner in life. <br /><br />i now know that there are some people that do not have this person in their life to fill most of these above voids. single people mainly. i have developed a new respect for these brave and mighty souls. it is a lot of work to be alone.<br /><br />my husband works/schools all day just about every day. while we do have some precious time together, i am noticing the majority of the time that we do not spend together. i am realizing that i spend most of my time by myself. and now, i find myself growing in this time - more than ever in my life. <br /><br />i am learning things about myself and making decisions for myself and finding new ways to accomplish hard tasks all by myself. <br /><br />i am choosing what i will and will not do with my time. i am forming new opinions about what i do and do not like. <br /><br />i sound like a newly graduated highschool student that is just now getting out in the real world. if i think about it, that is sort of where i am in life right now. i have spent my life, up until now, spending each moment of every day with someone. i married almost immediately after graduating highschool and lived at home in between that time frame. <br /><br />i miss my husband very much every day that he is at work or school or rotations. but i am beginning to value this time as an important aspect of us each developing ourselves a little more independant of one another. i really hope and pray that this leads to a stronger relationship. one that causes me to really value my husband and not just think of him as convenient. i never know when/if it might be God's will to take him. <br /><br />i think this time has more than anything caused me to do some serious growing up in my faith. i have spent countless nights awake with my LORD. finding amazing things in His scripture that i might have missed at that exact moment had i been lying in my bed asleep next to my husband. i have learned the value of my prayer life. the time that i spend in utter adoration of my King. spending time praying for my husband and about our relationship. <br /><br />yes, this time will be hard. but it will be good. it will allow me some time to grow. and growing may sometimes be painful...but it is necessary.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-55305192942841602032010-05-27T16:10:00.000-05:002011-06-14T20:42:18.871-05:00Simple Communication Will SufficeThis is a post dedicated to all of the folks out there that like to define words to emphasize their meaning. to all of the people who like to give alternate translations of a word to better convey what they mean. to those that have mastered the art of balancing their study bible, notebook, greek bible, hebrew bible, their esl bibles and someohow - just somehow - their train of thought all in one lap. to all of folks that repeat a word and use a different pitch each time. to those that repeat a word emphasizing a different syllable each time. for those that have to use an amazing personal experience or some incredible once in a lifetime story to make their profound thought simple to the simple listener/reader.<br /><br />Just speak people. Jesus used parables to weed out the scholars and law abiders from the true followers. We use clear and thought provoking words that stand on their own. They make sense and they prove a point.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-72286128463028267892010-05-04T14:49:00.000-05:002011-06-14T20:42:44.361-05:00promise - shromisei resent the fact that i haven't even logged on to my blog in over 2 months. i feel like all of the out of control-ness has come from me bottling up emotions and thoughts and forgoing the method that really makes me happy. i love to write. it is definitely a passion. some people use it to spread information about themselves to others. i use it to teach <em>myself</em> a litte bit about who i am. <br /><br />i vehemently promise to not allow myself to forget that no matter what has occupied my time, i will not give up on writing. i further promise that i will allow this blog to take on the form that it wills to. the realization i have come to know is that i need to step out of the way and let my thoughts flow freely. i think this is why i stopped blogging/journalin/writing as of late....i am too critical on myself. i get to re-reading and that just leads to re-editing. i want to look back on what my original thoughts were...not my corrected overbearing thoughts were. being overly critical on one self only leads to failure anyway. not sure if that quote is penned. it should be! <br /><br />i promise to write the first thought that comes to mind. and to recognize it as me. flawed and all. <br /><br />so much for promises.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-47827226414003173392010-01-27T08:42:00.001-06:002011-06-14T20:43:40.678-05:00you might not finish reading this blogI was recently moved by a chapter of a book I am reading, <em>Crazy Love</em> by Frances Chan. The second chapter in the book is called You Might Not Finish This Chapter. A rather short chapter, but the idea it delivers is deafening to me. Chan basically wants us to realize the gravity in life that we all act like doesn't exist. <br /><br />We all know that life is short. James 4:13-14 tells us that life is a vapor. But I can't help acknowledging the fact that I don't act like every single day could very well be the last day I spend dying on this earth. This could be the very day that I see my Creator face to face. This could be the day that you see Him. Even more sobering, I can't help but weep over the countless unsaved lives that are walking this earth. and this could be their last day, they could die today and never know the everlasting warmth of our Heavenly Father. They could step out of this world and into an eternity totally apart from God. It's my job - it's our jobs as followers of Christ to see that this doesn't happen. It doesn't have to. <br /><br />Even still, within that same idea, we don't always live like God tells us to in His word. He commands us to redeem our time for His Glory, because the days are evil. They are evil and too short to be taken for granted. Ephesians 5:15-15 says "be careful then how you live, not as the unwise do. Make the most of every opportunity, for the days you live in are evil." This verse needs to be the face of our wristwatch. Everytime we look at what time it is - we will be alarmed of the fact that precious time and opportunities are slipping through our hands. We don't have long. We must act now. This is not a matter of convenience. We have here and now to live for the LORD. All we have is this moment. <br /><br />You can't help but feel the challenge of carpe diem oozing from society. But what is it exactly that they (society) wants us to seize from this day? They don't even know. Society wants us to live for OURSELVES. The world wants us to get the most out of every moment to better ourselves, our own life, our own. I have to continuosly remind myself is that my time, talent and treasure are not mine to be greedy with!<br /><br />Seizing the day is hardly concomitant with the Christian walk to the world. I found an interesting article about atheism and carpe diem going hand in hand. Once again proof of a world / society that wants us to live for ourselves. This echos the evil craftiness of the enemy. God doesn't need craftiness to figure out what to tell us to do with our time. He created the time. It's His time to guid us through. <br /><br />The world wants us to think of God as come control freak that wants to take up our time and get in the way. If you have ever been desparate for God's intervention in your life - that might make you laugh. <br /><br />I want to look more closely at different points in the Word where carpe diem is better defined for my life. I want to seize the day - but I cannot risk my valuable time devoted to seeking what the world wants me to do with my time. <br /><br />The first theme of acting swiftly for the work of God that came to mind is Noah. Most people just know that he builds the Ark...the flood...two of each animal...blah blah blah. But if you look a little closer there is a significant couple of verses that establishes Noah's active quest in serving a God in whom he has found favor. Genesis 6:8 - "Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD" (this means that he had devoted his life to serving God and this leads to God acting in our lives.)<br />Genesis 6:18 - "But I will establish my covenant with you..." (this means that God wanted to build a bond - a promise, that would stand for somethine. God wanted to use Noah and his family to regenerate the human population. That is serious trust. Earned by living every day for God.)<br />Genesis 7:5 "And Noah did all that the LORD had commanded him" (this is the most miraculous statement in this story...no not even the fact that God covered the entire planet with water...Noah obeyed God. <br /><br />This may one of those tucked away Bible stories that we have all heard of at some point, but herein lies a hidden message. God is ALWAYS in action. As Henry Blackaby says, we should find out where God is working and JOIN him! Often I think, "ok, here I am God...I'm trying to get ____ (insert task/mission here) accomplished and it seems like you're MIA!!! Whenever you get a small moment of your enormous time...do you think JUST MAYBE you might be able to help a daughter out!? Sheeesh!"<br /><br />C'mon, like you have never gotten impatient with Him....<br /><br />The secret message in the flood story is that Noah followed God into action. No questions asked. He lived according to God's word the best he could and GOD called on Him. God chose to work through our bearded friend. <br /><br />Oh, how I desire to be used as well. Today. Because today is the only day that I know for certain I will have left to join God where He is working. This moment. Because this very second is a breath wasted if it's not for the Glory of God.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-21388907632695710182010-01-08T16:37:00.001-06:002011-06-14T20:44:22.217-05:00a cup that overflows<a href="http://www.breathoflifevm.com/sitebuilder/images/01_Connie_Houser_11-01-05_reduced_web_ready-361x488.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 361px; height: 488px;" src="http://www.breathoflifevm.com/sitebuilder/images/01_Connie_Houser_11-01-05_reduced_web_ready-361x488.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Shame came to mind when I realized the other day that some days I wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Ok, many days I do this. I am just not a morning person. I generally am not fully awake and ready to do anything until around 8am. This can sometimes pose problems in my schedule. <br /><br />It is not ideal for me to be this way, honest! I would love to be one of those people that wake up bright and early at the crack of dawn - just ridiculously happy to be awake and alive. Sometimes I think I could be the kind that wakes up at 5:30...ok, 6am, and starts brewing the coffee, work out some pilates, greet the sunrise and spend time with the Master all before I have to get going for the day.<br />This is all in my ideal world. I know that it would leave me feeling more energized and awake, plus, I would be more open minded for the rest of the day, more focused on the tasks at hand.<br /><br />Regardless of what time I wake up in the morning (thankfully and, both, foolishly assuming that I will...)is irrelevant to God. He just wants my time, MORNING, NOON and NIGHT. He wants to bless me abundantly with His presence in my life. For this, I am thankful and undeserving. It just astounds me to know that God of all creation wants to spend quality time with me. No matter how many times I say it, I will repeat in constant praise and adoration that HE is a Wonderful Savior. Hallelujah!<br /><br />So, this will not necessarily be a "new year's resolution" as much as it will be a daily resolution (because it will be a DAILY choice). I hereby, being of sound spiritual mind (at the moment anyway), determine and promise to make the most effort of my ability to wake each morning (regardless of what time) and have a set apart time to devote to meditating on Him. This should be separate from my daily Bible studying - or even my prayer request time. No, this time is just for simply sitting in utter adoration of Him and who He is. Colossians 1:16 says, "For all things were created by God. These things in heaven and earth were created for Him and by Him." Wow, this means that they were not created by or for me. So, I need to quit saying thank you for the sunrise and start saying thank you for creating the sunrise and inviting me to see your wonders. Thank you God, for including me in your creation. For involving me in your plans. For being as vast and unknowable that all I can do is sit in ridiculous AWE struck wonder over your majesty. <br /><br />My words can't compare to what God is. I can't compare to what God is. All I can be is thankful. All I can do is give Him the praise that He deserves and desires. <br /><br />For this opportunity I wake up each morning and know that He has chosen to share His mighty presence to my existence. He chooses to give me a cup that OVERFLOWS with love for Him. <br /><br />From this understanding we are granted a component of faith. This is JOY. Understanding that we are to be in constant exaltation of His presence is what gives us JOY - and not just Joy, I'm talking so much Joy people think you are crazy. This kind is what spills over (the image of a cup that overflows..) It is infectious at it's best and still obvious at it's worst (if there is a low point of Joy). This overabundance of what enables us to share, love, give, care, tithe, donate, serve, testify, believe, hope, endure, sacrifice...<br /><br />Somehow, this topic just leads me to Psalm 23. And a Sunday School lesson I have experienced. <br /><br />Verse 1: The Lord is my shepherd, I Shall not want. - This means I have enough trust in Him to provide me with what I don't even realize I don't deserve. <br /><br />Verse 2: He makes me to lie down in green pastures;<br />He leads me beside the still waters. - I can fully rely on Him to calm every ounce of resistance inside of me. I KNOW that he will abate my fears and anxiety and call me to rest in Him. <br /><br />Verse 3: He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness<br />For His name’s sake. - He clean all the junk and the funk out of my mind, heart and soul. Because He calls me His daughter HE wipes away the miry clay that I continually and foolishly make my bed and He puts me back on the right track. Everyday.<br /><br />Verse 4: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,<br />I will fear no evil: For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. - Ok, this is a big one...don't miss it. I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. And so do you. We all do, we are all dying. We live in dying bodies. We roam a dying earth. And thank God he will restore His Bride one day. BUT until then. We are to acknowledge death and face it. Kind Solomon told us that it is better to be among the mourners than the living happy folk. He says that we should understand death and face it. This is how we understand the vaporous quality of our life. Now, with this being said - death is a scary thing, it is the unknown. But really it isn't...we just established that we walk through it every day. So fear NO evil. HE IS WITH US!!! He has power and dominion that even the enemy cannot stand up against. He slams His gravel-like staff in the face of death. Why? He shows His almighty power over us and His ability to protect us from the valley of the shadow of death. <br /><br />Verse 5: You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. - Wow, He wants us to be the guest of honor? How thoughtful, really. Think of when you have guests come visit. You pull out all the stops. They get the best of everything: bathroom towels, bed-sheets, fluffy pillows, the best dishes, etc. The Maker of Heaven and Earth wants to know that regardless of what our enemies throw at us - He has a special place (with all the best of the best) prepared for us to seek His presence and shelter. He gives us His finest. He gives us enough of what we need, more than enough. The least we can do is Honor Him with everything we have in us. The very least. <br /><br />6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the LORD Forever. - All for the glory of Jesus, we will be surrounded with goodness and mercy. He wants us to bring Him glory. This is where we find goodness and mercy. Oh, to see His goodness and mercies that are new each morning - it sometimes makes me feel like Isaiah...I am a person of unclean lips and not worthy of such a good God. I am thankful to this good God that we are promised a dwelling place in His love and presence forever. God is good, all the time. <br /><br />Hallelujah, what a savior. <br /><br />I want to leave you with a simple definition of JOY. <br />--the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation.-- <br /><br />Remember, that the source of this Joy thing is our Heavenly Father. He is Jehovah-Jireh: the LORD that provides enough for each day. He provides us this Joy. It is found in Him. Each day start out asking the LORD to be your Jehovah-Jireh. He wants us to receive a cup that overflows with the Joy of the Lord.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-14110599142008428012010-01-07T13:48:00.000-06:002011-06-14T20:48:40.033-05:00Discovering Ephesians 5:8: my early "during" years.Ephesians 5:8 "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light."<br /><br />Every Believer has a testimony. Even if, like me, you asked Jesus into your heart at a very young age. We have a before and an after. Except there is something in between the before and the after...there is a during. This is our life on earth with Jesus in our heart. This is the learning time. After is revealed the day we walk through Heaven's door. We were a living in sin - destined to a fate of death. We are still sinners, but now we are sinners saved by God's Grace through Faith in Jesus Christ. One day we will be living in Glory. Alive in Him forever. <br /><br />When I was in second grade at Gardena Valley Christian School (thanks mom and dad), I was blessed to have a teacher named Mrs. Morgan who made it her mission to plant the very powerful seed of the Gospel into each student's life. She spoke of God and His plans for us often. She always made it a point to allow us very young children to develop a sense of Who God was. Towards the end of the year she spent an entire morning describing to us the image of Jesus knocking on the door to our heart. <br /><br />I remember I literally had a picture of Jesus (about the size of Tinkerbell) standing on a little golden front door mat, placed perfectly infront of a heart-shaped door. There He was, just a knocking away. According to Mrs. Morgan, He was on the outside. He was locked out of my heart and my life. He wanted in so badly, He wanted to change my heart and make it new. He wanted to make sure He took my heart with Him to Heaven one day...so that I would not be alone anymore. <br /><br />I believed this with my entire being. Sitting there - such a small little girl in a big world - something moved inside of me. I trusted that without me making the real decision to open the door to my heart and asking Jesus into my heart, my life and my mind - I would never have Him, and He would never have me. He would never get to show me the special room that He promised to prepare for me. So with that image of Jesus in my head, I closed my eyes. Drowning out the others around me, blurring the faint sound of Mrs. Morgan's guided prayer, I did something for the first time. I spoke inside my head, but for the first time, it wasn't to myself. I felt a connection that was never there before. I was speaking to Someone else. And I felt heard. <br /><br />I spoke to Him. I told Him that I wasn't sure why I needed Him, well I wasn't quite sure for the reason that I needed Him yet. I knew I needed Him. I told Him that I couldn't live another day without Him. I told Him that I felt terrible thinking about all of the sins I had lived with. I begged Him to take them away and to help me forget them. I thanked Him for wanting to live in my heart. I told Him that I thought it was the coolest thing that He had been my age at one time - and that He must know all of the things that I go through. (yea, because I really had been through life at that point...) I told him that I was so excited to get to know Him and that this is way better than an imaginary friend or playing with toys. <br /><br />Yes, I talked to the whole time. But in hindsight I now know that it's ok. He had a whole lot of work to do anyway. He listened. He let me get to know Him. He knew me so well already anyway. I would eventually learn to be still and listen to Him. <br /><br />This was my before...leading into my during. <br /><br />Fast forward a couple of years, a couple of mistakes and a couple of lessons later...<br /><br />I am now starting middle school. I have been introduced to whole world of sin since my days of asking Jesus into my heart. Temptation has occured. I have even bitten the proverbial apple more than a few times. I have deviated from the great plan to live a life of Christian bliss. And quite frankly I didn't really care. It's not like I had killed anyone, done drugs, or been involved in some sexual scandalous lifestyle. For crying out loud, I was just a 12 year old kid. I had plenty of time to live before the pressures of life and sin really started to interfere. <br /><br />Then I was moved one day, sitting in church. The pastor preached about some verse where some guy says that we were once in DARKNESS, but now we we are in the LIGHT of the LORD. Therefore we should live like Children of the Light. Hmmm. Interesting. It started to spark...but mostly I just didn't like to be called a child.<br /><br />Quickly, as I was gettin involved in the youth group, I started getting to know other people who lived a Christian life. I also met people that did not. I met one girl that was a couple of years older than me...and I noticed something about her. Every single time I saw her at church - she was crying her eyes out talking about how she has just come back to Jesus and that she has been reconciled with Him...again. and again. and again. This is the beginning of my hate relationship with luke warmness. I came to a point where all I wanted to do was live like a child of the light.<br /><br />Over the next couple of years, I went back and forth. I apparently had to live like a lukewarm Christian to fully understand my hatred for it...I made a few mistakes. Specifically dating wise. I guess I just mission dated, mission friended. I thought I was a strong enough Christian so that I could be "all things to all people" and not allow their lifestyle affect me and my lifestyle. Wrong. The strength is not in me. <br /><br />It was not until crossing over into my Sophomore year of Highschool did I realize that Ephesians 5:8 was more of a daily effort. It is a daily choice. Every morning I have to wake up and figure out for myself, using the strenght of my Deliverer, that I must be no longer of the darkness, but to let in the light of the LORD.<br /><br />Even though I am still in the journey of my during, I am enjoying all the things that Adonai is showing to me. Ephesians 5:8 still has an impact on my daily walk. I discover a little more about it every day.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-24330377886895277932010-01-04T22:38:00.000-06:002011-06-14T20:48:13.512-05:00conspiracyFaith is a cliff dive. We don't realize that it's just water, waiting to consume us. Drown us in faith Lord. We need more of it and more of You. <br /><br />this song's lyrics make me think of a time that many Christians experience through his or her walk. a season called "this is what I feel right after something happens to shake my faith, but right before I realize the undeniable providence of God:"<br /><br />"Please speak softly, for they will hear us<br />And they'll find out why we don't trust them<br />Speak up dear cause I cannot hear you<br />I need to know why we don't trust them<br /><br />Explain to me this conspiracy against me<br />And tell me how I've lost my power <br /><br />Where can I turn? Cause I need something more<br />Surrounded by uncertainties I'm so unsure of<br />Tell me why I feel so alone cause I need to Know to whom do I owe<br /><br />Explain to me this conspiracy against me <br />And tell me how I've lost my power <br /><br />I thought that we'd make it<br />Because you said that we'd make it through<br />And when all security fails<br />will you be there to help me through<br /><br />Explain to me this conspiracy against me<br />And tell me how I've lost my power <br /><br />I've lost my power"<br /><br />Sometimes we forget that He doesn't leave us. Even for a second. He is on our side. He is warrioring for us. He died for us. He conquered death for us. He ROSE FROM THE GRAVE and conquered the enemy for us. For us. For me. <br /><br />There is no conspiracy. There is no alterior motive. That is the enemy's job. God doesn't trick us into falling into Him. He goes the extra mile to get us to realize that we need Him. And we need Him. <br /><br />Job had it right on the money when he realized, (Job 9) "But how can a mortal be righteous before God? 3 Though one wished to dispute with him, he could not answer him one time out of a thousand. 4 His wisdom is profound, his power is vast. Who has resisted him and come out unscathed? 5 He moves mountains without their knowing it and overturns them in his anger. 6 He shakes the earth from its place and makes its pillars tremble. 7 He speaks to the sun and it does not shine; he seals off the light of the stars. 8 He alone stretches out the heavens and treads on the waves of the sea. 9 He is the Maker of the Bear and Orion, the Pleiades and the constellations of the south. 10 He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted." <br /><br />It is a miraculous pleasure that we must delight in our Creator, Redeemer, Father. He is above all things and our minds can never reach His mind. (Isaiah 55:8). All we can do is sit back and enjoy the splendor of His majesty, then JUMP up and go share with as many people as possible that this God thing is not a Conspiracy. It is a Love worth living. <br /><br />Matthew 28:16-20Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-20928044295643045722009-12-07T13:18:00.000-06:002011-06-14T20:49:03.716-05:00here i am to worship...or am i?A co-worker approached me one day and asked me a really simple "spiritual" question. He always throws me some good think-worthy questions, but when he asked me this one...I am not going to lie, I thought it was a boring one. It was one that I had thought about before. I had been asked about before and honestly - it was just one of those spiritual themes that had just been worn out. <br /><br />He asked me the question, I was busy faxing something so I really wasn't listening. Then he came back a few minutes later and asked me again. This time I really thought about it. That is when it happened. Like a ton of bricks. The LORD just pinned me right where I was sitting and said...what is about to come out of your mouth, maybe you should actually listen to.<br /><br />OUCH<br /><br />Nothing like a good "preachin' to the choir"...<br /><br />Co-Worker: "We know how to define worship within the walls of church, but what is it to worship with your life? What helps you 'remember' to be in a constant state of worship?"<br /><br />Me: "Well, three verses come to mind right off the bat. Philippians 4:8, Galations 5:22, and Ephesians 5:8..."<br /><br />First Philippians 4:8 - my good ol' Whatever verse. This is a solid reminder of how our daily thought processes should go, and for that matter - our daily worship practices. "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." How hard is that, huh? This means, we should always be fawning over our Lord. He is Truth, He is Nobility, He is Righteous, He is Purity, He is Loveliness, He is worthy of Admiration, He is Excellent, He is worthy to be Praised - and we should ALWAYS keep our mind stayed on Him. Lord, help us to keep our thoughts, attitudes, and actions focused on You. <br /><br />Second is Galations 5:22 - rooty tooty fresh and FRUITy! I so admire the Fruits of the Spirit. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." And thank you Jesus! As Christians we are called to constantly display all of theses characteristic traits. This is no easy task. We can NOT do it on our own! The only prayer in heaven that we have is to ALWAYS be in prayer asking Jesus to give us this day our daily Fruit. Let me tell you, we won't be doing this without being in some shape, form or fashion constant adoration of this Great God that we serve. <br /><br />Lastly, Ephesians 5:8. Old self versus new self. Walking the Walk. "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light." Youch. This is one heavy verse. No excuses here. This one speaks on and on regarding being a living worship. Live is an active verb here. A perpetual constant never-ending verb. We once (preChristian) existed in darkness BUT God! We live in the light of the LORD. So live like it good golly!<br /><br />I love when Jesus gently draws me to reality that is Him. I even more love when he whams me down on my face to catch my full attention. On fire is what He demands. on fire is what I desire.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-77518080322230206112009-11-22T19:16:00.001-06:002010-01-04T21:53:37.079-06:00identityRecently, I had a terrible experience of having my purse stolen. Some thief of scumbag proportions ripped my personal property right out of my car, that was parked right in my driveway. Still, I have a hard time admitting that I actually chose that (of all) night (s) to leave my purse (!) in my car!!! Why?! <br /><br />The good news is (well, not for the purse nabber) is that there really was nothing in the bag really worth taking. I seriously had the bare minumum in my purse that night. (for some reason only the good LORD can ever know). All it cost me was a really bad headache. Ugh.<br /><br />Then I started wondering about the scary fact that my identity has just now been made very vulnerable. I realized that I was one of the many people who are at a huge risk for being taking advantage of. Scary. I looked up on the internet to see what I could find out about indentity theft protection and what not. I found so very much. There are way too many precautions to take. It all costs you money, time and worry. I sort of felt that I might as well wait until my identiy got stolen to go through with all the nightmare (not really tho). <br /><br />This got me to thinking about my identity in general. I started thinking about my worth as far my identity goes. What would someone gain by taking my identity. <br /><br />Quickly I felt like instead of searching for ways to protect my identity, I felt like I should first decide what my identity was. In Christ. <br /><br />I was born a sinner. I was born in a sinful world. I was destined to be a sinner and face a sinners death. But God. <br /><br />Jesus came down and defeated this soul-less earth. He gave me a new name, and a new identity. And His word tells me no one can steal that identity. John 10:28 says that He has given me eternal life and NOTHING can remove me from His hand.<br /><br />"No power of hell, or scheme of man<br />Could ever pluck me from His hand<br />‘Till He returns or calls me home<br />Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand"<br />-from the hymn In Christ Alone<br /><br />I stand amazed everytime I realize the gift of ETERNAL salvation that I have in Jesus' name. Romans 8:37-39 “In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” THANK you JESUS! <br /><br />All I know is that nothing I can do protects who I am in Jesus Christ. I rely fully on His sufficient Grace. His Amazing Grace. Halelujah, what a savior!<br /><br />"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,<br />That saved a wretch like me....<br />I once was lost but now am found,<br />Was blind, but now, I see.<br /><br />T'was Grace that taught...<br />my heart to fear.<br />And Grace, my fears relieved.<br />How precious did that Grace appear...<br />the hour I first believed.<br /><br />Through many dangers, toils and snares...<br />we have already come.<br />T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...<br />and Grace will lead us home.<br /><br />The Lord has promised good to me...<br />His word my hope secures.<br />He will my shield and portion be...<br />as long as life endures.<br /><br />When we've been here ten thousand years...<br />bright shining as the sun.<br />We've no less days to sing God's praise...<br />then when we've first begun.<br /><br />Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, <br />That saved a wretch like me....<br />I once was lost but now am found,<br />Was blind, but now, I see''Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-79453589066040476382009-10-09T14:22:00.000-05:002011-06-14T20:50:06.672-05:00labor of love"One chance, one shot. That's all anybody ever got." - Labour of Love by FRENTE!<br /><br />I have debated whether or not I would write about this specific topic. It is very hard for me, sometimes, to put all my thoughts, prayers, emotions and ideas about this into words. I guess the reason for that is...it is personal to me.<br /><br />Josh and I are trying to get pregnant. Well, we have been for more than a year. (I realize that for some people that is no time. and that many people have been trying for many many years - and still, some have just never been successful.) In our situation, back in July of 2008 - we just simply decided to quit not trying. After a few months of not not trying nothing happened and I kind of wanted to know why. There were other things that were going on that made me have a general idea of why we were not getting pregnant, but I guess I just needed some medical guidance. In February of 2009 (the month of my near death experience - getting full on pneumonia and having a bizarre reaction to Levaquin) I decided to go to my doctor to see what was wrong. He did a full blood work-up and checked just about everything in the world.<br /><br />Turns out, I have PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome). "Yuck!" (I thought) For some reason I think I would have rathered hearing anything other than that. I had heard of it before, but I never really thought about it. All I really knew is it causes infertility (check) and can be sympotomized with excessness around the tummy area (check)...hmmph.<br /><br />Well, we did a few rounds of Clomid (fertility treatment drug) and that...obviously...didn't work. And as far as my progesterone levels have ever shown, I have only even ovulated once or twice this entire past year. Yay. In June, I had an unfortunate set back with a form of endometriosis. Fun. So, needless to say - on September 1st, 2009 - I marched into my Dr.'s office and told him..."I NEED A BREAK!" And since then, I can say with relief that I have no clue what "day" I am on or what my basal temperature is or what my progesterone level is on the 21st day...This is the most relaxed I have been about it in a year!<br /><br />With all of that said...<br /><br />The negative implication that has been given to the term "labor of love" has been wrongfully submitted. LOVE is a choice (and no one ever said it was easy). More times than not a person has <em>chosen</em> to proceed with laboring for the cause. Think of natural childbirth (especially these days). There is more than enough informative proof out there to let us know that this process of love is <strong>laborious</strong> and HARD and it HURTS!! Yet, some women <em>choose</em> to do it regardless. And most of those women will say that is was worth the labor. They would <em>choose</em> to do it again if they had to do it all over.<br /><br /><br /><br />What does anyone know of Love? Most of us can't even fathom the truth behind the word. It is a labor. It is a choice. And in it's most natural form - it is a gift. (1 Corinthians 13:4-12)<br /><br /><br /><br />We see many kinds of love, and I borrow from a movie when I say - all you have to do is watch the arrival gates of many airports. The second you see your loved one, your breath catches and you know that your heart is back, safely, where it belongs - with you.<br /><br /><br /><br />We are promised this love from our Heavenly Father many times in His word. Galations 5:22 promises we are given the fruit of LOVE as Christians. 2 Timothy 1:7 (which is one of my favorite topical verses) gives the undeniable truth that God loves us too much to give us the spirit of fear and confusion, instead giving us the spirit of love...<em><strong>His</strong></em> spirit of LOVE.<br /><br /><br /><br />The strongest lesson on love is to know that we are going to experience that example of love (the airport one) with Him when we get to heaven. We will take one look into each other's face and know what it is all about. Oh, to see His face, to tangibly feel His love.<br /><br />Another example is becoming a mom.<br /><br />The second you see your baby you just know. and sometimes before you even get to see your baby (before you even conceive) - you<em> just</em> know. I just know. I desire it with all my heart, and I know that my wonderful husband does too. Every month is a disappointment. Every time I have to shake my head "no" to Josh (after taking the monthly test that Dr has ordered me to take regardless of cycles) I hate that look on his face, that I know he is trying to hide.<br /><br />Most people do not know any of this. Maybe it is because, like for many, it is a sensitive subject. Maybe I just don't want to feel like everyone is silently questioning me everytime they see me nauseated, eating something weird, cranky, or overly happy (yes, non-preggos can have these symptoms too).<br /><br />My BIGGEST problem with all of this is when people try to down play the Love part in the "labor of love" that is having a child. You know, the people that try to accentuate the LABOR part. They say, "Oh, you have forever! You're soo young, don't worry about having kids now! Have fun, be a young married couple and don't ask for such a burden so soon!"<br /><br />How callous can someone be? I mean, seriously. I am pretty sure the second I want to hear this person's opinion regarding my LIFE, I'll ask. Otherwise, don't feel obligated to chime in. (even if I know they mean well)<br /><br />Ultimately, the reason this gets under my skin, so to speak, is because I <em>don't</em> have forever. With this condition CANCER just BEGS to end up there. So the only way to really prevent that is hysterectomy. Scary, I know. This means that by the time I am in my late 20's, I may have to give up the very option of conceiving my own child. SO, in some cases - not EVERYONE has all the time in the world to wait.<br /><br />I am not as bitter about this as much as I am just sad of it. And I have to leave this at the foot of the cross (1 Peter 5:7)<br /><br />I know that everything is in GOD's control, I do. I love my heavenly Father for making me the way He did. I know and am thankful that I am FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made! (Psalm 139:14)<br /><br />but much more importantly, I know that He has plans for me. (Jeremiah 29:11) - I know I have a future in HIM. I also know that He wants to give me the desires of my heart, He wants me to make known to Him my requests, so I can learn to utterly and wholeheartedly rely on HIM (Psalm 37 -LOVE THIS ONE) and (Phil 4:6)<br /><br />I love my Creator for everything He has made in me. Regardless of what may come of this, I know that He will glorify Himself through me as long as I am obedient. (Phil 2:12-13)<br /><br />I am thankful for the desire to have the Labor of Love, because it is Him who taught me what it means. (John 3:16)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-6300986483713025182009-09-25T09:20:00.000-05:002011-06-14T20:53:05.759-05:00lonelyMore times that not, if you ask someone what they are most genuinely afraid of, they will tell you that they are afraid of being alone.<br /><br />Alone. One is the loneliest number. All by myself. Me, myself and I. How many ways can we describe the pathetic-ness of being alone?<br /><br /><br />I come from a pretty big family. Most would consider being one of five children would make a big family. My dad comes from a family of 8 brothers and sisters. And don't even get me started on my maternal grandmother's side of the family. SO - I guess you could say I am very accustomed to <em>not </em>being lonely. I have ALWAYS had someone to talk with and someone to "play" with.<br /><br /><br />Now, that my wonderful husband has realized his calling for life right now being a paramedic(some sort of medical field thing - more on that later) it has left much alone time for me. With all the school, and work (24, sometimes longer, shifts) and other things pertaining to this venture - I can honestly say that I have started to feel the bitter sting of loneliness for the first time in my life. Yes, I realize that the loneliness I am experiencing is MUCH different from that of others. There is the widow/er, single, abandoned, orphan among many other truly destitute seasons of life that many have to suffer through.<br /><br /><br />Josh is great at just about EVERYTHING he does. When he sets his mind up, he accomplishes. Just a matter of fact. First it was Fire Fighting (funny because I am ultra-terrified of fire), then it was Emergency Rescue in general (thus his venture to become an EMT Basic), then - we finally got a job with a paramedic company (yay, getting paid for what you do is way better than volunteering...just a fact)!!! Now, while he is still working every 3rd day (24 hour shifts) for Regional Paramedic Service, he is going to school another day, and yet that other day ( in the 3 day block ) he is either off ( this is my favorite option ), picking up other shifts, studying, or sleeping. Now that we have those details clear...<br /><br /><br />The first time I spent the night alone I thought, hmm...what to do what to do? I did some laundry. I watched some tv. Then I went to bed extremely early.<br /><br />I have officially decided that I dislike being at home by myself. Well, really I just don't like being at home without Josh. Even worse, when Josh is at work I don't like going anywhere ( I don't know why) - so I normally just end up being stuck at home bored and alone. perfect.<br /><br />I need a hobby. I guess this will be blogging. and laundry. and going to be too early.<br /><br />I can just see a post in the want-ads. Lonely married Christian woman seeks some rich guy... to give her lots of money so her husband can stay home with her.<br /><br />I know that Josh would never agree to that even if we did win the lottery. He loves to work so much. How is that even possible. I don't exactly want to sit at home all day, but I would deffinitely choose a lot of other things over working. sometimes.<br /><br />Now I am just whining.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949643929262784228.post-48429064046237210032009-09-24T10:03:00.000-05:002011-06-14T20:53:32.952-05:00Who cares what we have to say?So I have been doing a lot of thinking of the idea of Blogging - writing in general. Who on earth really cares what we have to say. Some people have great things to say, really profound ideas. Some people use their passion for turning thought to text for all the wrong reasons - they use it to belittle others and burn other people. I don't mean opinions (which we all have), but more of negative comments that directly effect someone else somewhere.<br /><br />And I know this quote that I seem to be seeing everywhere lately by a former first lady of the United States.<br /><br /> "Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas."<br /><br />And if I might add, great souls discuss wisdom.<br />This got me thinking...How can I use this blog (and my love for journaling) to benefit others, but mostly glorify God? I really want to know that even if no one in the entire world ever reads what I have to say, that somehow it will still be pleasing to the LORD.<br />I really do hope that this new motive behind my blogging leads to a few different things. First, that I will be able to develop (and self teach) the kind of writing that really communicates ideas and thoughts. Sometimes when I am speaking an idea aloud, I get in the way. I start to stumble through my thoughts and unfortunately start over-analyzing the look on my audience's face. Thus, getting embarassed and confused as to why I even started speaking in the first place.<br />Secondly, I would like to preach to the choir. I never have fully understood why people use this phrase, but it seems to mean, "what I am saying to you - I am really saying to myself as well." Sometimes when I am sharing something (even if it is my to-do list) with another person I begin to understand myself more clearly. Just getting something off my chest can teach me the strongest lesson that I know God is teaching me.<br /><br />Now, I know that all of this is easier said than done. I am determined to atleast try. I think the first way I can try to communicate something is by opening scripture and learning it - applying it to my life. Everything else is folly. Unfortunately, I sometimes succumb to human nature of all else that is folly. I will try to stay on track.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06410353699010247574noreply@blogger.com1