Legacy

Thinking about my sweet Father-in-law today, he's having his first heavenly birthday. Even though he won't be having any more earthly ones, I'm thinking of the earthly legacy he left.

I see Van everyday in the sweet loved ones with whom I get to spend my life..Charlene, my sweet mom-in-law, Sarah, my uniquely lovely sister, and my fulfillingly loving husband, Josh.

If I could think of one way that Van has left his mark on us it would simply be, perseverance.

We have learned from him: that even when it hurts so bad, you keep going. Those closest to him understand this with more certainty than anything.

I'm thankful for a husband that through Van, the Lord gave me. I have this man that carries the same proverbial posture of diligence. I am proud of Van, I'm proud of my husband..and maybe one day I'll have a son that echoes the same strong, sturdy elements of manhood that his legacy bears.

For now, we will hold one another up as we grieve, as we fervently miss the physical presence of our dear father, husband, friend, brother, loved Van. We will thrive, though, on the impact-full and lasting legacy that he leaves. We will lean on the loving arms of Jesus knowing that is where Van now finds his eternal home.

And as I reminded my husband (as he is so beautifully just like his dad in his strong emotions and tender heart) this morning as I knew he was hurting at the thought of this momentary separation from his dad:

"Life can be pretty sad sometimes. I know sometimes it feels like you get served an extra dose of sad, but I just love you and, somehow, I know down deep that this is all that matters..
I know that it's what makes us stronger and closer."

I don't know if my sweet husband even realizes this, but he, through the mercy and guidance of Jesus, is building such a strong legacy that grows off of the very bloodline of men such as Byron Picket Boggan (grandfather), and his dad, Van Alan Boggan. He has every reason in the world to hold his head up and know he walks in the favor of God and men, and humbly, me - his wildly adoring wife and life long soulmate.

I'm so proud to be a part of this story, I'm so blessed to have known Van. I'm so humbled to be a part of this family.

I take away the understanding of what it means to bear witness to your children, family, friends, total strangers. Leave a legacy that echoes the wonderful things that God has done. Leave behind remnants of The Lord's goodness. What else, I ask, even matters?

"My people, hear my instruction; listen to what I say. I will declare wise sayings; I will speak mysteries from the past - things we have heard and known and that our fathers have passed down to us. We must not hide them from their children, but must tell a future generation the praises of the Lord, His might, and the wonderful works He has performed."
(Psalm 78:1-4)

This ain't your momma's theology lecture

I have entitled this entry with a sense of humor, but please beware that this blog encompasses a very serious issue. The title was meant to, actually, be more of a warning. I don't claim to be some theologian saint, nor do I claim to have an abundance of answers (just an abundance of Grace). Sweetheart, this is merely me, sitting here with the next guy, discerning the will of God in my life today. Lord, have mercy on me!


I want to place my words very carefully, so please be patient with me. At the very heartbeat of this entry is the gentle chastising of my own foibles lately, as received from my Heavenly Father lately. 
I read something and feel one way, I watch a news clip and feel another. {Sometimes I have even felt lukewarm simply because I can't decide my stance on an "iffy" issue (don't misunderstand that please) I merely mean to say that some believers take one stance, and others take another and I find it hard to place my allegiance with one or the other} Yet, interestingly as both of these emotions have been fighting for my heart, I pray and I see much clearer. I fight to bring clarity to the bondage of emotional, mental, and spiritual calamity that is this world I am living in. "Stop the madness" my heart says..
Tolerance, intolerance, right, wrong, fair, equal rights, choice, love, hate, opinion, born that way, abomination, evil, neutral, bigotry, chick-fil-a, conscience rights...words, words, words. World, world, world (interesting isn't it?) 

So join me, if you like, to clarify where it is I need to be to line up under the word and authority of the Lord God Almighty. That's where I want to be. I have no hope of leading another to His Grace if I myself am not at the very center of it. And after all, that is what we are called to do...become fishers of men. (Matthew 4:19)

"Dress down your pretty faith, give me something real

Leave out the Thee and Thou and speak to me now

Speak to my pain and confusionSpeak through my fears and my pride" 

Sara Groves - Awakening 

I'm so thankful for Greater Grace (James 4:6) , aren't you? ...by the way, more on James 4 later. I'm so glad that all it takes is for us to get out of the way and let Him in for things to be made whole again. But alas, if it were just that simple we wouldn't have needed a spotless Lamb. We've been given a multi-faceted companion in His very legacy of defeat over the grave. Daily I find myself flying off the handle, judging, lying, coveting, gossiping, floundering in a pit of lost...but the single greatest thing has happened. I have been rescued. I have been given greater grace simply by the wholesome salvation that I have in Christ Jesus. 


Back on track,

To truly love someone as Jesus did - you must truly be concerned about the condition of their heart, their soul, their life. Love them, but disciple them. Society (all of it) only wants you to believe that this must be polarized. I say, enough. Love and Absolute Truth does, in fact, go hand in hand - because God created both concepts.



We are called to completely deny ourselves and this ole world...every day. Jesus says, "For what does it benefit a man to gain the whole world yet lose his life? What can a man give in exchange for his life? For whoever is ashamed of Me and of My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels." (Mark 8:36-38)...Bone chilling isn't it?

James 4: "Adulteresses! Don't you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? So whoever wants to be the world's friend becomes God's enemy. Or do you think it's without reason the Scripture says that the Spirit who lives in us yearns jealously? But He gives greater grace. Therefore He says: God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore, submit to God. But resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, double-minded people!" (vs 4-8)


What is the purpose of this?? Christ can love us entirely while being made physically ill over the sin that we welcome through our blatant rejection of purity, truth, and fulfilling love only found in Him. "So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I am going to vomit you out of My mouth." - Jesus (Revelation 3:18)

Neutrality is the single most effective tool the enemy has over you.The Medieval poet, Dante Alleghieri (1265-15321), is supposed to have said that ‘the hottest places of hell are reserved for those who in times of great moral crises maintain their neutrality.' (by the way, JFK was said to have quoted this)

What moral issue are we as the church remaining "neutral" about? Human trafficking, abortion, addictions? Sexual perversion: pornography, premarital sex, homosexuality? What will you do to stand up? Note, stand up does not mean HATE. But, standing up for God's Word and standing up for the purity of other's (whether they are lost in sin or saved in it) hearts, to truly love, to lay down our pious, righteous banners, tweets, and movements all to stand up with convicting selfless faith in Him. We are sorely out of turn if we point the finger...we are a merely here to represent Christ's open arms. We are called to live under the truth that by His stripes we are healed (from sin, disease, infestation of death...)


Oh, but, too often, we back Jesus Christ into this corner of being this soft, cuddly, pushover. He spent His time on earth doing many things (reaching out to sinners, like you and me, as well as portraying the manifest deity of God in and through His own hands via miracles)...but let's not overlook one GRAND SCHEME of His walk on earth. To be God on earth. FULLY GOD (as only God could rectify the "situation".... To expound, we often label Jesus the Son as the peace-loving hippie brother, and God the Father as the Righteous Father, and further the Spirit as the middle sibling that just wants to keep the peace in the household. Oh my. May we truly see them as a real tri-unified embodiment of Creator - Judge - Covenant Maker - Salvation Bringer - Soul lover - Messenger - Healer - Sovereign Lord over all. There is no separation where one ends and the other begins. Jesus will be the ultimate Judge according to the will of the Father - stay with me - See John 5 (vs 16-30).

This is why Jesus was the Worthy Lamb to come inhabit earth with the very sinners He would soon die to save. He is the very atonement of our sins. He is the very redeemer of our lies, murders, curses, condemnations...He pays for us to be His own because He knows what His judgment will mean. He knows, trust me, He new it all along - especially when He, who knew no sin, became sin - just so we could be His righteousness. 


Keep up...


Jesus didn't just spend time with sinners just to show that He loved them. He spent time with them to heal them, to deliver them, and to tell them to follow Him. He came into their lives so they would never be the same. But just like the rich young ruler, people rejected His truth. Just like the Pharisees, and Satan himself, people used political correctness to find him in fault. Be careful where we allow our allegiance to lie. We are called to love God (first) and to love people (which will come from the overflow), and to make disciples.  We must be careful we are not living with earthly eyes. We cannot judge the world for their "lostness," but we cannot allow the Word of God to be perverted. When we allow the world to mock God's Word and we do not hold fast to His Scriptures we defile the very covenant we claim to be a part of.



So why is all of this even important? Well, for starters...let's look at Isaiah 48..where the Lord has to explain to the Israelite just why they are in the predicament they are in..

I am Yahweh your God,

who teaches you for your benefit,

who leads you in the way you should go.

If only you had paid attention to My commands. 

Then your peace would have been like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea. 

Your descendants would have been as countless as the sand, and the offspring of your body like its grains: their name would not be cut off or eliminated from My presence. 

(Isaiah 40:17-19 HCSB - my exaggeration) 

--

I know that everyone has their own passions on drives, but I also know that many people remain neutral on one of the most crucial topics that faces our world today. This is what I call, a passion for neutrality. We duck our heads and head for cover when the issues get too hard to sort out. Or when they get too hard to stand up for what we know is right.


Jesus blood never fails to stand up for what is right. If we are covered in His lavished Grace than we will truly be able to conceptualize loving others all the way to the cross where we find that His sacrifice calls us to repentance (to turn away from or sin. to deny ourselves. to take up our cross and to follow Him.)

Only Jesus can make beauty out of our ashes. But we have to give him our ashes in order for him to transform them. The world doesn't know that...this is why are called to preach Him to the ends of the earth. In spirit and in truth with the over abundance of love that He has implanted inside our very beating heart. 

"For when the Pharisees saw Jesus dining with the sinners and tax collectors, they asked "Why?!" When Jesus heard this He simply said," Those who are well don't need a doctor, but the sick do." Matthew 9:16-17

Guard her heart.

Chances are, if you have a teenage girl in your life that has Internet access..especially via smartphone..her self-confidence is being drained by the hour and their view of reality is being distorted by the minute. they post picture after picture of themselves and guage their self worth by who "likes" it or who called them lovely. They decide they are worthless if some stranger (that they allow access into their lives) leaves a simple comment , such as "ugly." What is this society we are totally unaware that is even developing deep in the privacy of a teenage bedroom, inside the screen of a parent-paid, all-access to all things lethally narcissistic? Too much privacy, not enough personal responsibility. Too much self-intoxicating social media, not enough deep-meaning familial relationships with mom/dad/etc.

Christ looks with adoring love on us all. He desires to mend the fragile hearts of each one of these beautiful young ladies. Will you stand up for the young women in your life and share with them the Love, Redeeming Love? Love that can only be found in The One and Only, who not only deserves her heart but beckons her to abandon all the feeble attempts at self-satisfaction to the point of receiving everlasting LOVE. Mercy, Grace. Hope, Truth. Fulfillment. Joy.
Dressed in Purity. Eternally valued - above all else.

We must teach our daughters, sisters, nieces, granddaughters, friends, students - all the little ladies in our lives to GUARD their hearts.

Share with her His Love. It is there, and only there, she will find contentment and peace that her soul so desires.

It is there, her fragile heart will be safely guarded by The One who causes it to beat.

"guard your heart above all else, for from it life flows" proverbs 4:23

Lord, why did you make me so sensitive? And other prayers from today.

I guess I will start with this: why did you make me so sensitive? I really don't understand why I am so easily hurt. I guess I could ask why people hurt me so easily, but come on...it can't be everyone else's fault. After a few misunderstandings and awkward run-ins with various people I have to come to the conclusion that I am the sensitive one. I have to realize that it is me that blows things out of proportion in my own mind. But in the same token, could it be just so - could it be that there are that many insensitive people in the world? Furthermore, could it people that I am one of them? King Solomon was right on the money when he proclaimed the vanity of life and everything that goes with it. Vanity of vanity, everything is vanity. Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless. I mean, is there no importance anymore? Does anyone really care? At the risk of sounding like some bleeding heart, does anyone really lay their head down at night and wonder to themselves, "you know self, maybe you were a little rude to that person...they could be hurt because of your own actions or inactions. Maybe you should do something about that...and soon, because, you know self, it is just the considerate thing to do." No, of course people don't do that. Because if they did, I can think of several occasions when someone would call me first thing in the morning and say, "hey sorry about acting like that the other day...I guess I just left my self-control at the door and decided to treat you like dirt" - I know I would have a few calls to make every morning or so. See, the world would start dramatically shifting if people had this mentality. We know that we would hurt people...that is human sinful nature...but if only, oh if only, we had some sort of reflex muscle that reflexed after we misspoke, or treated someone in a cross or out-of-turn manner. I can't help but see many of these petty misunderstandings would get rsolved, and over time, even eliminated. But I digress. It is, in fact, all meaningless if we can't muster up the so very uncommon courtesy to treat people how we would like to be treated. What are we even here for if we can not show even the simplest form of love. After we ourselves have been shown the greatest love of all...and we so take it for granted every moment of every day. Sensitivity is an instinctual trait for women, no doubt...but I think I have gotten a double dose. Some would laugh with this regard, but I feel like the more I spend around a specific person - the more I am at risk of being hurt by them. I would love to just go through one relationship and not be let down, but alas..you are this very relationship. How can I forget day in and day out that you are the token of integrity. You are the very label of delight. You hold me in in your hands and never let me go..and I always need you to be this. I will always need it. And so it dawns, you have created me to be this sensitive creature - if nothing else but for this very moment, that I might come to realize and acknowledge your very self and you would come sweeping in to save the day and win my heart. How clever of you?! I simply adore this about you. Oh and by the way, it's very kind of you to listen to me ramble. You are the best listener in history. I know you have plenty to say to me, but just the fact that you humor me long enough to mull over what has been bugging me is truly and act of divine proportions. Maybe one day I will realize that all the listening I need in my life is for me to listen to you. Regardless, thanks for your tender ears and your tender embrace soothing me when I have trampled feelings. You make me realize that even when things feel out of control I can have this sense of self and sense of control - total control when I bring it to you. Just earlier today I wrote that, "sometimes I feel like I don't really truly have one single friend that I can be totally and completely myself with"...this is true, I don't. But it is nice to know that I have overlooked you. There you are, just the same. Ready and willing to embrace what and who I am, ramblings and all. Thanks for that. Help me to not overlook all that I have in you. Help me to regard my feelings only for you. Help me to not offer up my heart on a platter for others to pick through as if a buffet line. Help my to preserve my tender breakable heart for you, as you are the only one that will never break my fragile heart.

be treasured here.

I have loved the Lord for a long time. I was a young girl when I accepted His Lordship. Even through the many times of life that I have faltered He has been faithful to forgive and love me so sweetly. Even through the many times of life when I have done the work of my own heart, I have always felt Him moving in that very place - working to transform this beating heart - from a mechanical self indulgent mere organ to a heart after Him. Jesus has my heart and will always. So I will seek Him with my life. He has been so active in my life lately. I almost wondered where He had been all my life - then I shuddered at the realization that it was I who had been missing in action..He has been a constant Guardian of my heart, while I, foolishly, played it to the beat.
There has been a strong movement of His faithfulness in my life. I'm humbled, I'm awestruck, I am in adoration. With all that has transpired all I can do is designate my life to be a forever song of praise. It is my life theme to make Him treasured here, in my heart.
The best part? His faithfulness and His love and mercy has been shown in ways that I could have never imagined, never prepared of my own accord.  

beautiful Jesus, how may i bless Your heart? knees to the earth i bow down to everything You are.
be blessed, be loved, be lifte high. be treasured here - be glorified. i owe my life to You my Lord, here i am. here i am.

oh, to be found in the garden

"I come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses...

And the voice I hear falling on my ear
The Son of God discloses.

And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own;
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.
He speaks, and the sound of His voice,
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,
And the melody that He gave to me
Within my heart is ringing."

My dad sang this song at my Grannie's funeral back in January after a brief battle with cancer. I remember, she passed  in the wee hours of that Friday morning. Saturday was pretty much a blur. We held a memorial service for her that Sunday evening. Earlier that day before the memorial service my dad asked me to help him by typing out his speech that he would deliver at the service. I know he probably only asked me because he knew I could type quickly, but I took it very personally. I felt so humbled that he asked me to do it. Even though it was to be read out loud and be made public later that night - because it hadn't yet been delivered, in a way, it was still in the rough draft stages. It was still personal to him. I was amazed at his delivery of the gospel. He shared the Love of the Lord the way that Grannie had lived it.

Meanwhile, the peace with which he gave this plan of salvation (no easy task considering he had just laid his mother to rest) was simply sweet. He sang a sweet hymn that she had asked him to sing - the same one he sang as a boy at his own grandmother's funeral. I remember the way he sang that song with such sweet surrender to the Holy Spirit. He sang with such a heart of praise. Just the manner that he composed himself taught me so much about life.

The words of the song just echoed over and over again,

"...and He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own..."

I just felt such a peace of mind knowing that Grannie at that moment was forever bound to her Savior. She was hearing face to face that she is His forever Love. She had met Him in the garden to walk hand in hand. Oh what peace!

Death affects us all a little different. There in itself lies the most unnatural thing that has ever occurred to us as humans - the great separation - it is truly what it feels like. It is a mock example of what separation from the Lord is - true spiritual death. Only the gift of the Lord's salvation can make this proverbial heart whole. And so it is with physical death. Only having the free gift of salvation by grace through faith can place us in the security of knowing we will see that loved one again.

No body wants to talk about this so much when that passed on loved one maybe didn't have a relationship with the Lord. This is the dilemma. If they were indeed loved one's - are we loving them truly by letting them go without sharing the love of the Lord? May we never let an opportunity go by that we don't share God's gift of salvation - whether it be to a loved one or a total stranger.

So, as you may be reading this, please know that you too, can meet Him in the garden one day. You don't ever have to experience this great separation. Likewise, if you have already surrendered yourself to The Redeemer, you are now called to be a minister of reconciliation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. And the wages for sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Amazingly, God showed His love for us in this: while we were sinners, Christ died for us. And whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life. (Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23, Romans 5:8, John 3:16)

let the sun set

i can feel it. a pressure. a fear. a sinking pit-like feeling. alone. blue. i'm trying to find a word for it. but it's just simply this. it's untitled. but it's here. something so burdensom. something so heavy. i'm running. i'm still. i'm breathing. i'm crying. i'm quiet. i'm listening. i hear it. i'm ashamed of it. i'm stuck. i'm holding a death grip on it. bondage. it's holding a death grip on me. stained. hostaged. despair. i can't see the words that are here to comfort me past the tears that are welling. i can't hear what you are saying through the muffled air of doubt. but there is a muted moment that i can't hold on to. i'm desperate.

and then something grasps me. it's a melody. it's your glory. your presence. it's your love. it's your freedom, your name. your forgiveness, your justice. your power, your providence. holiness. affirmation. miracles. atonement. fullfilled promise. i hear your presence calling me to lay it down. give it to me, you say. you say words to my heart that my thoughts cannot know. you say: do not be ashamed. i love you. you are forgiven daughter. you are forgiven. you are forgiven. you are forgiven. give me the lies, the secrets, the sins, the dispair. you piece the broken chips of my heart back together. your name alone rescues my soul. images fill my mind of my regrets. you replace it with a picture of a sunset. you set the sun over all my guilt, shame and life in death. You raise me up with your holy name. it's hard to remember this, but you don't seem to mind reminding me as often as it takes. you will wake me up each morning with your word. you will cover my lies with your truth. you will cover my failures with your success. my death with your life. my name with yours. my scars with your image. my dispair with your hope. my stains with your blood. my wrong with your right. my imperfection with your spotless perfection. my depravity with your sovereignity. my loss with your wholeness. my old with your renewal.

i hear you say: daughter, let it go. be reconciled to me and release your past. forget about being tempted for a fate unknown. i'm here to give you my love. i'm here to free you from a cage. like a bird, who was once caged...you are now free.

symphony by chris taylor

I'm in the mood for a breakdown
A slowing down of all the things in my mind
That keep on trying to figure out how to pin you down

In desperate need of a shakedown
A blowing down of all the ways that I try
To talk you into a corner until you look like me

But when I finally see what you see
There's a symphony
I hear a symphony

Words cannot define
What it means to be in your symphony
In your symphony

A long awaited let down
A burning through that's calling me back to you
With a beautiful melody of all you love

It's welling deep inside of me,
It's springing out, the song that I'm meant to sing
So teach me the harmony to all you love

Hearts in unison
I'm drawn into your love
Hearts in unison
I understand your love